Tag Archives: life

Fashionably right on time

Embarrassing confession: I like the new Justin Bieber song. It’s like really catchy, right? Like OMG I might have set it on “repeat” on my iPhone.

I heard it first on iTunes, and then I watched him sob through it at the VMA’s. Poor Biebs. He’s obviously going through some rough stuff. Maybe he feels bad for being a punk, maybe he regrets his side bangs — maybe he’s still pining over Selena.

Either way, Justin Bieber is 21 years old, and he’s worth millions.

I’m 25, and I’m worth, er, not that.

Obviously, this is an outrageous comparison. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we thought it was “outrageous” to compare ourselves to ‘normal’ people, like our friends?

Ah, but we don’t. In fact, we obsess over what other people are doing. That’s what Facebook is for – just post after post, a stream of reminders of stuff we don’t have. A kick ass job, a solid group of friends, airbrushed wedding photos, a baby. The Facebook “timeline” is just an alarm that buzzes, “Hey! You are really, really behind (527 People Like This)”

At some point or another, I think we’ve all established a timelines for ourselves. You know, “I want to be X by 27, Y by 32, and Z by 38.” I know I have. And to a certain point, this can help us meet our goals. But all too-often, the timeline (internal and Facebook) becomes the enemy. It makes us feel really crappy.

It can be a hard pill to swallow, to realize you aren’t where you planned to be at age-whatever-you-are.  There are things I thought I’d be doing at this point that I haven’t even thought about trying to do. And there are things I’ve been trying like hell to get that just aren’t happening.

But that’s because the time is not right. The real timeline had other plans.

But the idea that we have “deadlines” based on a million unknowns is crap. We are programmed to think we should be at certain points by certain ages, based on how we were raised, who we are friends with, and what the world deems as successful. 

What about your values? Your highest ambitions? Your deepest desires? Those things, your purpose for living, don’t deserve deadlines. They deserve to take all the time in the world.

As my mom would say, “There are two ways to skin a cat.” Which means, there’s more than one way to get somewhere and accomplish something. Sometimes that requires taking an alternate route – and it could take a little longer. But you’ll get there, if you want it bad enough. In the meantime, pack up your road map, your check lists, your Pinterest boards — everything that fills you with anxiety, and get the heck out of there.

You are running on your own time, the time meant and created for you.

That’s why you have goals, so you have something to work toward. And if you have any goals at all, you’re already halfway there. Just because you haven’t met them yet doesn’t mean you won’t. In fact, they’re probably just around the corner.

You’re not behind. You are not stuck. You are not fashionably late — you’re fashionably right on time.

20 things every 20-something *doesn’t* need to know

We 20-somethings, we love a good list.

Especially, the list of “pointers” about how to live a better 20-something life. “20 Things Every 20-Something Should Know,” “23 Reasons No One Likes You When You’re 23,” “I’m Feeling 22, Boo effing Hoo.”

Ok, I made that last one up. But some edition of this type of story publishes every week. 20 pieces of advice for the clueless 20-year-old. (Yawn.)

They all ultimately say the same thing: It’s okay to be a mess, hangovers suck bad, don’t get married young and get out there and travel.

Good advice or not, we’re all pretty obsessed with ourselves when we’re 20-something. Aren’t we? Myself included.

Seems like we get SO obsessed with trying to figure ourselves out that we forget about well, living. Because learning comes with living — Not by reading some Thought Catalogue article.

It’s hard as a young adult to have peace about life in the midst of navigating a premature career when you’re still trying to figure out how not to overdraft your bank account. Also, what is “mopping?” So I guess reading about how much of a wreck we all are during our twenties is comforting.

But you don’t need to read lists about 20 things that may or may not affect you to make yourself feel better about your life. You’re absolutely not alone.

“You mean, I’m not the only person in the world that eats cake and $4 wine for dinner!?” No, you most certainly are not.

I went to New York a few weeks ago to visit a good friend. I had some lose plans here and there, but I ran into several people I’d lost touch with. It made me think about life’s ability to twist and turn unexpectedly.

peeps

And life has done that a lot lately.

We can plan our lives hoping to rid ourselves of every anxiety we feel about the future. But at some point, fate evades the planner and reveals a better plan.

Because let’s face it, even in my short 24 years of life, “the worst thing in the world” ended up leading me to something better. Every. Single. Time.

Life will continue to do that, I’m sure of it.

Maybe we shouldn’t waste our time trying to figure out how we tick, why we feel so deeply or why we physically can’t down 5 shots of whiskey every Friday night anymore.

It will be okay — there’s a plan of sorts behind all of your moronic, 20-something decisions. And even more importantly, the awesome things you’re just beginning to tap into will blossom and you’ll find your footing. And one day, you’ll be telling people why being 20-something doesn’t actually suck. It’s kind of wonderful in its own, twisted way.

At least, that’s what I believe.

Throw the ’20 things you need to know’ out the window — you only need one. Be yourself. And what will be will absolutely be.

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