Embarrassing confession: I like the new Justin Bieber song. It’s like really catchy, right? Like OMG I might have set it on “repeat” on my iPhone.
I heard it first on iTunes, and then I watched him sob through it at the VMA’s. Poor Biebs. He’s obviously going through some rough stuff. Maybe he feels bad for being a punk, maybe he regrets his side bangs — maybe he’s still pining over Selena.
Either way, Justin Bieber is 21 years old, and he’s worth millions.
I’m 25, and I’m worth, er, not that.
Obviously, this is an outrageous comparison. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we thought it was “outrageous” to compare ourselves to ‘normal’ people, like our friends?
Ah, but we don’t. In fact, we obsess over what other people are doing. That’s what Facebook is for – just post after post, a stream of reminders of stuff we don’t have. A kick ass job, a solid group of friends, airbrushed wedding photos, a baby. The Facebook “timeline” is just an alarm that buzzes, “Hey! You are really, really behind (527 People Like This)”
At some point or another, I think we’ve all established a timelines for ourselves. You know, “I want to be X by 27, Y by 32, and Z by 38.” I know I have. And to a certain point, this can help us meet our goals. But all too-often, the timeline (internal and Facebook) becomes the enemy. It makes us feel really crappy.
It can be a hard pill to swallow, to realize you aren’t where you planned to be at age-whatever-you-are. There are things I thought I’d be doing at this point that I haven’t even thought about trying to do. And there are things I’ve been trying like hell to get that just aren’t happening.
But that’s because the time is not right. The real timeline had other plans.
But the idea that we have “deadlines” based on a million unknowns is crap. We are programmed to think we should be at certain points by certain ages, based on how we were raised, who we are friends with, and what the world deems as successful.
What about your values? Your highest ambitions? Your deepest desires? Those things, your purpose for living, don’t deserve deadlines. They deserve to take all the time in the world.
As my mom would say, “There are two ways to skin a cat.” Which means, there’s more than one way to get somewhere and accomplish something. Sometimes that requires taking an alternate route – and it could take a little longer. But you’ll get there, if you want it bad enough. In the meantime, pack up your road map, your check lists, your Pinterest boards — everything that fills you with anxiety, and get the heck out of there.
You are running on your own time, the time meant and created for you.
That’s why you have goals, so you have something to work toward. And if you have any goals at all, you’re already halfway there. Just because you haven’t met them yet doesn’t mean you won’t. In fact, they’re probably just around the corner.
You’re not behind. You are not stuck. You are not fashionably late — you’re fashionably right on time.